Babying With Branden: Week 6

By: Branden Valentine

I think we have finally turned a corner, you remember that clock I was talking about from a few weeks ago, I put batteries in it! Now regarding the baby’s progress, we HAVE NOT turned a corner! In fact we have been dropped off in the wrong neighborhood and are trying to figure out if we are wearing the right colors.

On the bright side, we did pick up a book called “Moms On Call Basic Baby Care: 0-6 months by Laura Hunter and Jennifer Walker, ” and I must say it has helped. Ruby will sleep consistently in her bassinet. It takes several attempts to get her to fall asleep but when she does she stays down. Oh, I’m also happy to report that my wife now wears tank tops! It doesn’t offer much coverage, but at least she has more on then a nursing bra, progress baby!

My house is still a complete mess, the cold part is I don’t even care. This weekend I bought some jam and lost it as soon as I got home. I naturally bought more jam, then my wife asked me why there was a jar of jam on the floor. Just like when she asked about the tomato in the Living Room, I had no answer, I don’t remember why I put it on the floor in the first place. I am living out of the dryer, my house looks like a bachelor pad. When people ask if we need anything I want to say “Bring ya ass over here and clean up my house!” but my wife says that would be rude. Tomorrow I’m going to try and clean. The last time I tried to tidy up, my daughter threw up on my neck and down my shirt; almost like she wanted a dirty house.

Last night my wife and I ate chicken nuggets and fries, not because that’s what we wanted, but because that’s all our mental capacity would allow us to cook. This weekend we are planning a weekend trip to Seattle. It’s our first overnight trip so pray for us. It’s going to be a good tester to see how she handles long car rides and sleeping away from home. It’s funny how babies act when you switch up their routine, like how did we survive when we were hunters and gatherers?

We put Ruby on a feeding schedule, yesterday my wife took my mother-in-law to the doctor you know for the cheese, anyway it messed up her feeding schedule so her little diva ass decided to cry for an hour when we tried to put her down. Then she threw up because she was so worked up.

Some nights when she screams like that I look to the sky and just ask Jesus to take me now, he never does though.

Author Branden Valentine

To see more of Branden's work and short stories make sure to check out his author page, which list more of writings.

Branden Page

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